Words, the world in general, physiology specifically, anything microscopic – questions for God. I don’t sweat the small stuff — but I am certainly fascinated by it! I have a gift for child-like wonder. Currently I share that gift with students at KCCC Massage Therapy, KCCC LPN program and KCCC ABLE/GED. I also continue to torture my daughters, husband, family and friends with whatever pops into my head.
Does the noise in my head bother you?
wanderingoutinleftfield 
One of the things that I adore most about you, is your “gift” for child-like wonder. I find it intriguing that you called your natural bent towards child-like wonder a “gift”. I have always maintained this child-like wonder that you speak of, however have sometimes felt self concious of it. I’m not sure that I felt it has always been accepted, beyond my onset of puberty. There seems to often be an unspoken rule of sorts, that we are to grow up, become mature, and very serious. At times, I’ve tried to bury this child-like wonder or hide it. I never knew it was a “gift”.
I’ve always had the saying that, “I’m a curious type of girl”. God’s creation amazes me; I could sit and watch the ocean for hours and I can hear it in my mind’s ears often. Like a child, one of my favorite things to do is to hold my husbands hand, walk along the shoreline and gather sea shells. I think to myself, “He probably wonders why I’m picking up the same kinds of shells that I pick up every time….”. Each shell’s uniqueness and beauty seem to speak to my heart. When my son’s were young, we went to Wrightsville Beach, NC and it was one of the best memories of my life. I chose a small shell, that curved around into a smooth opening, the size of my index finger. I didn’t know at the time, that this particular shell would be a source of comfort and calm to me, years down the road. “Comfort and calm”? “How can a seashell bring to someone comfort and calm”? As my life unraveled, for ten years I kept that simple seashell in my pocket and carried it with me everywhere that I went. When I would feel sad, anxious, or upset…or when I wanted to find a place of peace, I would slide my finger into the smooth, firm, glassy opening of the shell, and I would rub it back and forth. As crazy as it may sound, just rubbing that shell would instantly calm my spirit and allow me to center myself. (I didn’t know at the time that it was called, “Centering”, but that’s exactly what it was).
I say all of that to say this: For the first time, I realize that this child-like wonder isn’t a curse, but is indeed a gift! Thank you for giving me revelation on this and knowing that it’s okay to wonder and be curious about everything under the sun and ask, “Why”, like a child. I’ve misplaced my special seashell…..which makes me feel sad. The next time I’m at the ocean, I’m going to search the sands for another perfect seashell. The shell doesn’t have to be “perfect”….it can be broken. (I’m not perfect, and I have many broken places) The shell, however will be perfect for me…..all I need is it’s glassy, smooth surface, to fit my index finger…..and I’ll be right back at the ocean where peace and tranquility reside.
One last thing…..I hope that one day (soon), I can come to this place that you have found, where you don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m working on that; habits are hard to break. Life is not always easy, and life is like a vapor. It’s much too short to sweat the small stuff. Thank you for being you and for being in my life.
Johna
Trust me when I say that in scientific circles – or anyplace where adults ‘run amuck’ – having a child-like wonder can be looked down upon. Each new group of students I meet, each new job I start, my ‘style’ creates the immediate assumption that there isn’t a whole lot of brain-power being used. I no longer worry about the assumption – I just march on and look forward to the times ahead, where what I have to offer is also accepted along with the way I choose to offer it. I am not a by-product of the family I care for, or the students I teach, or the members of my church. I am a vital individual put on this earth to carry out God’s work in whatever method he plops in front of me — with an open mind and a caring heart. Along the way I use talents that are mine to use for this purpose. I trust that God made me in this particular manner to do work that He can do best through my style. THAT’s the hardest part of obedience — accepting WHO you have been made to be.
I’m so tickled that you pulled something so positive and affirming from that little bit of a blurb written in a section of a blog that most people never see. You dig deep, Johna. Find that sea shell, okay?! AND ask me about my heart shaped and round rocks. It’s a similar story!
Johna — Rereading many things and working on my writing. I have a question for you…. Where in the world is a rule that we have to lose our child-like wonder? Childish behavior – sure! Childish ISN’T Child like AND: It’s biblical! Check out Matthew 18. As children are, we should be open to his word.
So I ask you – have you replaced that seashell? If not — DO SO!! We are given gifts, talents, ‘stuff’ of God. He made us uniquely on purpose – no one else gets to be you. BE YOU.
And please, please, please — ask why!!!