God is pulling on my threads – unraveling the organized and watching it slide in a heap to the table.

There’s laughter in His heart as he watches me begin to react. To respond. To awaken.

This little heap of thread sits beside the pile of thoughts which have been pushed aside by the chores and clocks and documents of a busy life.

There is delight in His eyes as I distractedly pick up the thread and let it run through my fingers, feeling the soft texture, admiring the colors and weight. A bird sings. The wind blows. There’s a rumble in the house around me. I feel the texture of these moments and reach for the pile of thoughts and, still distracted, put them on like a necklace to experience their weight.

Who giggled?

The mixing in of the unknown has been tugging at my heart. The messy imperfection of new, of worth, of quality, of depth. The lure of risking your heart, of stepping into a swirl of thought, of placing out there words that mean nothing – and everything all at once.

The thread of messiness. Of imperfection. Of stepping out and doing something of quality……without certainty.

Stand on that. Without certainty.

Risk.

There is a risk in being genuine.

From my home (my soul base, my space) remotely tucked into the woods in central Ohio, I feel a mixing of the unknown with a tugging at the heart. When I close my eyes to rest. When I allow my heart to breath. When I open up my mind – I long for deep, meaningful connections.

There have been many examples in my life. You won’t know them all, but you’ll understand as you go:

*DeLynn who lived his beliefs and opened his heart to anyone who wanted to assist others and learn.

*Jay Torrence builds a heart tug into each of his plays. When he writes, I grow. I learn. I engage.

*Mime as an art form – a visual joy ride deep into the luxurious folds of my brain that leap from topic to topic and find a connectivity that isn’t seen without digging – without effort – without a certain lack of control.

*Questioning Authority (Or reality, or anything else for that matter.) Questioning! Why? When? How? Going beyond acceptance and finding truth, and the gaps in the truth, and the wonders that still beg to be explored.

I ache for real down and dirty, thought provoking, often uncomfortable, frequently unique, specifically growth demanding, in-your-face life experiences that take you OUT of your comfortable box of an existence and challenge you to try something on for size.

Like God.

Or yourself – or at the very least your thoughts.

And I realize as I am writing this – THIS is what has been missing in my life of late.  Not since COVID – not because my kids moved to Japan – not for the other obvious NOTS.

But because it isn’t easy. Or convenient. Or completed in under 20 minutes. Or bite-sized. Or comfortable.

Or comforting.

It’s growth. It’s risk. It’s vulnerability. It’s challenging. It’s an adventure.

And it’s necessary.

11 Apr This entry was published on April 11, 2021 at 9:55 pm. It’s filed under Learning and tagged Risk. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.